Another Word For It Patrick Durusau on Topic Maps and Semantic Diversity

December 5, 2013

On Self-Licking Ice Cream Cones

Filed under: Funding,NSA,Project Management,Security — Patrick Durusau @ 3:47 pm

On Self-Licking Ice Cream Cones by Peter Worden. 1992

Ben Brody in The definitive glossary of modern US military slang quotes the following definition for a Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone:

A military doctrine or political process that appears to exist in order to justify its own existence, often producing irrelevant indicators of its own success. For example, continually releasing figures on the amount of Taliban weapons seized, as if there were a finite supply of such weapons. While seizing the weapons, soldiers raid Afghan villages, enraging the residents and legitimizing the Taliban’s cause.

Wikipedia at (Self-licking ice cream cone) reports the phrase was first used by Pete Worden in “On Self-Licking Ice Cream Cones” in 1992 to describe the NASA bureaucracy.

The keywords for the document are: Ice Cream Cones; Pork; NASA; Mafia; Congress.

Birds of a feather I would say.

Worden isolates several problems:

Problems, National, The Budget Process


This unfortunate train of events has resulted in a NASA which, more than any other agency, believes it works only for the appropriations committees. The senior staff of those committees, who have little interest in science or space, effectively run NASA. NASA senior offiicials’ noses are usually found at waist level near those committee staffers.

Problems, Closer to Home, NASA

“The Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone”

Since NASA effectively works for the most porkish part of Congress, it is not surprising that their programs are designed to maximize and perpetuate jobs programs in key Congressional districts. The Space Shuttle-Space Station is an outrageous example. Almost two-thirds of NASA’s budget is tied up in this self-licking program. The Shuttle is an unbelievably costly was to get to space at $1 billion a pop. The Space Station is a silly design. Yet, this Station is designed so it can only be built by the Shuttle and the Shuttle is the only way to construct the Station….

“Inmates Running the Asylum”

NASA’s vaulted “peer review” process is not a positive factor, but an example of the “pork” mentality within the scientific community. It results in needlessly complex programs whose primary objective is not putting instruments in orbit, but maximizing the number of constituencies and investigators, thereby maximizing the political invulnerability of the program….

“Mafia Tactics”

…The EOS is a case in point. About a year ago, encouraged by criticism from some quarters of Congress and in the press, some scientists and satellite contractors began proposing small, cheap, near-term alternatives to the EOS “battlestars.” Senior NASA officials conducted, with impunity, an unbelievable campaign of threats against these critics. Members of the White House advisory committees were told they would not get NASA funding if they continued to probe the program….

“Shoot the Sick Horses, and their Trainers”

It is outrageous that the Hubble disaster resulted in no repercussions. All we hear is that some un-named technician, no longer working for the contractor, made a mistake in the early 1980s. Even in the Defense Department, current officials would lost their jobs over allowing such an untested and expensive system to be launched.

Compare Worden’s complaints to the security apparatus represented by the NSA and its kin.

Have you heard of any repercussions for any of the security failures and/or outrages?

Is there any doubt that the security apparatus exists solely to perpetuate the security apparatus?

By definition the NSA is a Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone.

Time to find a trash can.


EOS: Earth Observing System

Hubble: The Hubble Space Telescope Optical Systems Failure Report (pdf) Long before all the dazzling images from Hubble, it was virtually orbiting space junk for several years.

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