Alert the ASPCA: Roo Bombs

I was surprised to see major news outlets with variations on this headline: Teen Accused of ISIS Plot to Bomb Cops Using Kangaroo: Reports.

In On the Beach, Aussies didn’t seem this imaginative.

Spoiler space:

“We may die so let’s kill ourselves.”

A big jump in imagination skills from suicide when fearing death to using or fearing a kangaroo as a means of terrorist activity.

Either the Aussies were inaccurately portrayed in On the Beach or their development of imagination skills has been off the charts in the past sixty or so years.

From the post:

“The conversation continues with Besim detailing what he did that day and they have a general discussion around animals and wildlife in Australia including a suggestion that a kangaroo could be packed with C4 explosive, painted with the [ISIS] symbol and set loose on police officers,” the prosecution summary said, according to the ABC.

I can’t read that summary without either laughing out loud or at least smiling.

Even a clueless Westerner such as myself can imagine the difficulty of painting anything on tame animal, much less a kangaroo. Roos, so far as I know, don’t have political affiliations and would object to being painted on general principles.

Moreover, how do you “set [a kangaroo] loose on police officers”?

Training one would be a real challenge for an ADD afflicted generation. Tossing a rock is the typical level of planning and execution one can expect.

Perhaps stabbing/shooting but then you have to remember to bring a weapon. Happens but not common.

It isn’t hard to imagine some stoner saying they want to develop an attack Roo and then laughing their asses off but for the authorities to take it seriously demonstrates a decided lack of humor.

What if Besim had proposed teaching thousands of budgies common children’s names, coating them with LSD to be released as part Anzac Day celebrations? Free budgies and a little something extra for the holiday.

Oops! Are the Australian police going to come knocking on my door?

The only effective weapon against government bed-wetters selling fear of terrorism is mockery.

Conjure up competing absurdities for every reported terrorist arrest + absurdity!

Sure, there will be office disputes at holiday parties but that’s hardly terrorism, unless you want to mis-label it so. We have funeral shootings in Atlanta. Hardly terrorism.

Not to mention a recent snow event killed more US citizens than ISIS has. That wasn’t labeled terrorism. Although, I suppose the Islamic State could claim, along with Pat Robertson, control of the weather and take credit for it.

BTW, if anyone gives you a free budgie, be sure to wash it and your hands carefully. 😉

PS: So you will know a potential Roo bomb when you see one (minus the ISIS symbol):

512px-RedRoo

Comments are closed.